Of Seperation and Confusion

You know, there has always been a possibility that parents would one day divorce.

They fought a lot when I was younger so divorce was mentioned many-a-time, but me and brother were too young for that experience

I never knew if they just forgave each other after those fights, or if they were just holding off until we were older

But now that we are older, I don't think I'm any more ready for it to happen.

Lately, my dad in particular has been saying a lot of funny things, personally I just think he's being dramatic, but who knows?

I started noticing it after a certain incident. He was 'cleaning' his closet, and by that I mean, throwing everything away, and as he was walking off with a garbage bag full of old socks my mom stopped him
"You don't need to throw all of them away, just pick out some"
He wouldn't listen, so she opened the bag and spilled it's contents, pairing off socks that were his, mine, hers and my brothers, and throwing away the rest (including moldy, holy socks, which was the majority of them)
My dad got unreasonably angry and just walked out in fit of rage
I drove around my neighborhood for 10 minutes before I found him

And then he said things like, "I don't even enjoy her company that well! She too demanding! She's the one wasting all the money with her bullshit shopping!"

couple of days later, it continues

They're both incredible divas, so that can't see how incredibly good they are for each other
My father's patience and understanding suits my mom's quick-temper and complaining
And my mother's caring and work ethic balances my dad's few, but big burst of anger and his innate laziness

But if by some off-chance they were to divorce, if they hated each other that much
...what would it mean for me?

All these years of playing the mediator, I suppose...idk, I don't want to it to happen and if it did, I would proabably being bawling from now until december

But if it did, I'd let it happen, if they're truly and sincerely not happy, I'd let them do it

And God knows I pray that day will never come

-sana